You guys, anyone who’s reading this, I just married the love of my life! I AM SO HAPPY!

Let me tell you about her!

Her name is Kimberly Botic (née Taylor), and she is just…perfection. Pure perfection. She has the most beautiful eyes, a sparking set of light browns that could light up a room. She has the most perfect, full lips you’ve ever seen, they’re the first thing I noticed, so red against her perpetually-tanned Filipino skin.

Our personalities are so in sync, I still can’t believe it. We love all the same things. We have the same interest in movies, in music, and lucky for me, we’re both homebodies. I’ve always had terrible anxiety, and I live a life now where I’m afforded the comfort of staying home most of the time, only having to go out when I absolutely need to. Some might say that’s unhealthy, but so be it. I’m happy, she’s happy, WE’RE happy! It’s weird saying “we” and meaning me and my WIFE. I love it.

If I have one complaint, and it’s really not that big of a deal at all if I’m being honest, it’s that I’m usually the one that needs to initiate sex. Not all the time, mind you, sometimes she’ll cast a glance from across the room, and she knows exactly what to wear when she’s in the mood to really get me going, but more often than not I’m the one that needs to set the stage.

But again, it’s not a big deal. No marriage is perfect. I have things that annoy her, she has a few that annoy me. Let me tell you, she can get an at-ti-tude. If we’re having an argument (which is hardly often), she definitely proves that she has the mouth of a Williams woman, as her family would say. The worst is when she just flat out ignores me. I’ve never met someone with whom I can converse more comfortably and freely, but when she gets mad, she becomes a stone wall.

I know I already said it, but she is so beautiful, you guys. I’ve never been more attracted to anyone in my entire life. She’s much shorter than me; I’m 6’5” while she stands at a mere 5’2”! Her hair is yet another thing I love about her. She’s a natural brunette, but she has streaks of blonde and a bit of dark red mixed in there. It’s absolutely gorgeous, and it’s one of those things that I never knew I was extremely attracted to until I saw it for the first time. If I had to pick one thing on her that isn’t absolutely perfect (and she’d be the first to admit it herself), it’s that one of her legs is just a tiny bit shorter than the other! It’s really unique, and she jokes about it all the time.

One last thing about her looks (I’m sorry! I know it’s probably annoying, I’m just very proud that I’ve been fortunate enough to get such a beautiful woman to love me!), is her tattoos. She has a couple of them, but my favorite one is on her right thigh. It’s a koi fish with rainbow scales, and she had it done by an artist who really knew how to do colors; they pop so brightly, in a way that, with no offense intended, could only be accomplished on that perfect shade of pale skin. Of the work she’s had done (which isn’t much; besides her tattoos she’s just had some very minor cosmetic work done), that’s the best.

But okay! Enough about her looks. We got married two days ago, and already it feels like we’ve been married for decades, and I mean that in the best way possible! As I mentioned, we both very much prefer staying home to going out. Women I’ve let into my life in the past always complained about not wanting to go anywhere, but Kim, she’s more than happy to just curl up on the couch, or in her favorite chair in our living room, and watch TV :). She’s never once complained! Seriously, how perfect is she for me?

Our wedding ceremony, which we held at our house, was exactly how we wanted it: small. And by small, I mean it was just us, the officiate, and two witnesses, all of whom are our friends. We held the reception immediately after the ceremony, and we told them they could stay as long as they like. But if I’m being honest, they’ve overstayed their welcome.

Joseph, the officiate, in particular, has been perpetually hanging out in our living room, and while I’m assertive enough to ask him to leave, my beautiful wife doesn’t want to be rude. The other two (a couple), at least, have just been keeping to themselves in our guest room in the basement, and I’m sure you can guess what they’re doing.

Sorry, this has just been one big long brag post. But there’s a point to it. The point is to illustrate that you can find your perfect someone. For me, it took going on dates with a number of different women before the right one was an option.

The first was a few months back, a stunning woman named Katherine Williams. She had long, flowing blonde hair, a beautiful pair of brown eyes,  and we clicked on a lot of levels. I liked most her outgoing personality. She came home with me, but we ultimately just weren’t perfect for each other, and for a marriage to work, a couple needs to be perfect for each other.

The next was about a week after that, with a tall Irish woman with a whole bunch of tattoos (I’m talking arms, legs, even one on her neck). She was built like a swimsuit model, with breathtakingly long legs and a full head of the most luxurious red hair you’ve ever seen. She too came home with me, but again, the spark I was looking for just wasn’t there. Like with Katherine before her, there were some things I liked about her, but overall, she just wasn’t the one for me.

The third date, coincidentally, was named Kim. Of all these women, she was the one who had the most of what I was looking for in a partner. She had long brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and before her, I hadn’t known I was especially attracted to women shorter than me. We had dinner, we had drinks, and we ended up back at my place, but she just wasn’t the one.

It was a conversation with Kim that helped me realize exactly what I was looking for.

Each of these three women had certain traits that I loved, Kim most of all.

So I took Kim downstairs where the other two lovely ladies had been hanging out, got them all together, took them all apart, then put them back together, and before I knew it, I’d finally landed the perfect woman!

I already had two friends who’d been in my other icebox in the basement for about a month. They were kind enough to act as witnesses to me and the love of my life tying the knot.

When Katherine’s brother came by looking for her after using the ‘Find My iPhone’ thing, he was kind enough to accept my invitation inside, and even kinder when he agreed to officiate my forthcoming union! But now that he did it, I just want him to leave. All he’s doing is stinking up the place, the lazy son of a gun. I’m gonna use the fact that we have a fly problem in our house to make them leave; I’m calling an exterminator, so none of them can be here (thank goodness)!

So, to anyone out there who feels like they’re unlucky at love, I just wanna say: don’t give up.

The right one is out there for you. Go on dates. Meet new people. I guarantee that each man, woman, or otherwise that you meet will possess a quality that you like. All you need to do is mix and match :).

But oh boy, Kim is me giving the look. You know, the look, and like I said, that doesn’t happen all that often. So I better sign off 😉

Best of luck!

— A very happily married man 🙂